Friday, March 21, 2008

Love You. Miss You

Four years ago today, I lost my mom. She died unexpectedly... and far too soon... at the age of 61. She was dealing with some health issues at the time she died, but her death came as such a complete shock. For so long, I struggled with the fact that I never got to tell her goodbye. One minute she was there...the next she was gone.

Losing my mom and going on without her has been one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. She was such an important part of my life. She wasn't perfect, but she was the perfect mom for me. She was funny. She had the most hearty laugh. She was friendly and outgoing. For years, she worked in a grocery store in the town where I grew up. My brother once said he always wondered what everyone knew about him when he walked in there because my mom always went on and on about us! My mom could strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. I sometimes wish I was more like her in that way. I tend to be more reserved around people I don't know very well. But not my mom. She could make friends with anyone.

My mom was never rich in terms of material things, but she was one of the most generous, giving people I have ever known. She shared of her time and talents with everyone. She served willingly and happily in many different ways in her church. She loved working with the children in her congregation. Many of them told us at her funeral how much they loved her and would miss her.

My mom struggled with many difficulties throughout her life. She and my dad divorced when I was 8. The divorce and the aftermath was very difficult for her. She faced emotional and physical difficulties at different times throughout her life. But through it all, she never lost hope and she never neglected me and my needs. I could talk to my mom about anything. I loved spending time with her. My children adored her (and she them). Losing Grandma Diana was so difficult for my children. Seeing them suffer made my grieving that much harder.

I love her and miss her, and many times have wanted so badly to pick up the phone and call her. How wonderful it would be to hear her voice. Losing her left an empty space in my heart.
Today, I am posting some of my favorite pictures of my mom.
Mom, age 3

My mom's love of reading began when she was just a little girl.

One of my favorite pictures of my mom. She and Mallory look so happy. This was taken on Christmas Eve, just a few months before my mom died.

I love you Mom.

24 comments:

Sharon said...

I'm so sorry you miss your mom. What wonderful memories you have.

Yvonne said...

What a beautiful way to remember your mom, it really touched me. I can tell how much you loved her.

Jason said...

That is a very touching story... I too lost a parent (dad) at a young age. I know how it is to go through holidays and other big events without him... Your mom sounds like a great woman.

Tracie said...

What a sweet and loving tribute to your mom. The pictures of her are so beautiful. I'm sorry you are so sad, lots of hugs to you.

Becky said...

What a lovely tribute to your mom. Hope today is filled more with joy of happy memories than with pain. Hugs to you.

Christine said...

This was so touching. These are wonderful pictures of what sounded like a terrific woman!

pat said...

Margaret--such wonderful memories of your mom. Isn't it nice to know that families are forever? YOu know she is watching over you and yours.

Michelle said...

so sorry about the loss of such a wonderful woman. sounds like you had an incredible relationship. your journaling is a wonderful memorial to her. hope your day is full of sweet reminders.

mel said...

These are beautiful! Thanks for sharing a bit of her with us!

Mom2Drew said...

I honestly don't know what I'd do without my mom. My heart is grieving with yours today. Your journaling is lovely, as was your mom.

Nicole said...

M - I have to say that even after 17 years, it hurts still the same. I was 19 and my Mom was 43. I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

Photography by Kristen Wagner said...

What a great tribute to your mother. She sounded like a wonderful woman and I can see why you miss her so much. Thank you for sharing.

Amy said...

What a beautiful tribute to your mom. Thanks for sharing it with us, but you have me all choked up now! Those are some great photos of her. ((( ))) to you on this difficult day.

Becky said...

im sorry for your loss ...what a beautiful tribute to your mom! thanks for sharing your special relationship!

Jodi said...

that is just heartwrenching. So sorry for your loss.

Bobbi said...

This was beautiful to read. You were so lucky to have such a great mom and beautiful memories. Thanks for sharing this :)

Ashley said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I think it's wonderful that you have these pictures of her from when she was young.

Amanda said...

Your words are so genuine and beautiful. I am so sorry that you lost her so suddenly. Its always hard to loose a parent no matter what. I just love the photos you have of her. Beautiful.

Katie said...

how thanks for sharing your memories.

Val said...

So sad for you. I can't begin to imagine what it will be like if my mom is gone. Hugs to you. Loved looking at your mom's photos

pakosta said...

so heart breaking. i am so sorry that you are missing her so much. my friend just lost her mom in jan. she is also having an extremely hard time.....i loved how you wrote about her and i know she is smiling knowing how much you love her.
tara

Tori said...

What a sweet and touching post. Thank you for letting us "meet" your mom. She looks like (and sounds like) the most wonderful lady.

April said...

i'm so sorry..that's such a wonderful tribute though. she sounds like a fantastic mom.

Greg said...

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